Down the rabbit hole of crunchiness: My metamorphosis in a tidy, bulleted nutshell.

I am always in awe of the transformative powers of motherhood. Let's compare and contrast the three Rachels that have existed since the day I found out I was pregnant with Ella.


PHASE I: IDEAS ABOUT MOTHERHOOD WHILE PREGNANT...

• I want to try to breastfeed, but you never know...
• I want to try to pick her up every time she cries.
  
• Co-sleeping? No thanks! What if I squish her?
• Mainstream baby products. I've been clipping baby stuff coupons from Target and Babies R Us.
  
• Get on the day care waiting list now, it fills up really fast.
  
• Got a great deal on a stroller and a crib! Woo-hoo!
  
• I should really be thinking more about nutrition now that I'm pregnant. I'm just really putting off reading that big, fat book about what to eat when you're pregnant :X
  
• Bring on the meat! Baby needs protein.
• Good thing I'm such a strict teacher! This kid won't get away with anything...
• I'm so glad we bought such a big house! We're going to need that room now that we're starting a family.
• Breastfeeding is best I know, but it's kind of weird when kids breastfeed past infancy, isn't it?
• I'm all for breastfeeding in public, but, I mean, come on -- there is such a thing as discretion.
• Let the hospital staff do their thing once she's born, i.e. drops in the eyes, bath, vaccines, umbilical cord, etc. They do this EVERY DAY! I think they know what they're doing by now.
• If natural birthing is the worst pain on Earth, why would I want to experience it? Life is too short! Epidural, please!
• They told me to try to sleep before my induction, but I think I'll just sleep after I give birth.

PHASE II: IDEAS ABOUT MOTHERHOOD SOON DURING ELLA'S INFANCY...

• I will do anything to make breastfeeding work, despite our breastfeeding problems. I would be crushed if I had to give it up now, not to mention what it would do to Ella.
  
• How can anyone not pick up a crying baby?
• We don't really "co-sleep," but I can't help falling asleep with her on my chest and it just feels so good...
• I'm a little creeped out by mainstream baby products. I think we should start getting "crunchier" diapers, wipes and shampoo, even if it is more expensive.
  
• Oh my God. I think I'm going to have to quit my job to re-lactate. How am I going to get out of my teaching contract?
• Good thing we got a good deal on our stroller and crib, since she refuses to be in either one.
  
• Let's try and see how much organic food we can afford to cram into our diet, especially when she starts eating solid foods.
• I have an idea: if we cut back on our meat intake, we can afford to buy better, organic produce and higher quality meat.
• I think I don't want to parent the hard-ass way I've been teaching.
• We soooo don't need a house this big! All we do is sit on the bed in the master bedroom and breastfeed all day. The house could be just a kitchen, bathroom and the master bedroom, and it would feel the same right now.
• Whoa. I just met a really cool mom who nursed her son till he was 5. I'm going to have to read more about that before I know how I feel about that...
• Despite my couture nursing wrap, I am SICK OF COVERING while nursing in public. Seriously, I think I'm just going to stop. I just don't even care any more.
  
• I wonder why they took her away from me so long when she was born. It's weird how that bath took, like, an hour.
• I thought that a natural labor would be the worst pain on Earth. Now I think that postpartum depression has got to be the worst pain on Earth.
• That is hilarious that I thought I would sleep after Ella was born. I don't remember when I've had more than 3 hours of sleep in a stretch.

And finally...

PHASE III: NOW :)

• I now know that about 99% of moms can breastfeed. The problem is lack of support/willingness in our culture.
• Attachment parenting only for us!
• Co-sleeping family!
  
• Only chemical-free, natural baby products has led to an entirely chemical-free, natural household. The only mainstream stores I grocery shop at now are Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, with the rarest of exceptions.
  
• Exclusive cloth diapering.
• Done with teaching in public schools! Stay-at-home mom with a 4-hour per week out-of-the-home job. Working toward a second career of being an at-home medical transcriptionist.
  
• Stroller and crib? How about sling and Snuggle Nest?
• Eating about 60-70 percent organic. In the planning stages of suburban homesteading and hoping to eventually grow the majority of our food.
• Almost completely vegetarian!
• Unconditional parenting.
• 750 square foot house.
• Planning on child-led weaning.
• Always nurse uncovered in public, anytime, anywhere out of principle. I volunteer to be that one person you saw nursing uncovered in public.
• Strongly leaning toward homebirth next time. I can't believe I was so ignorant to let them take her away from me in the hospital and I am willing to bet that that contributed to our breastfeeding problems (statistics back me up on this!)
• Will have a natural birth next time! When I think I can't take the pain anymore, I will remember that moms who have natural births have a lower incidence of postpartum depression and I'm pretty sure that will get me through the contraction.
• Sleep is overrated!

Talk about a metamorphosis.